The Right Apology can change your life.

by Jyotika Aggarwal on October 23, 2018
Articles

It happens so often that even after apologizing, he issue becomes an argument and forgiveness is out of sight. This is simply because, we do not know how to communicate the “right” way to say sorry.

The Don’t’s:

1) Do not use “but”. Using this word after saying you are sorry, tells the other person that you are trying to justify in your favor and get away from the error.

2) Do not expect forgiveness. Forcing and arguing with the other person that your apology deserves forgiveness, will lead to being counter-productive.

3) Give up being defensive. It is innate in people to be defensive. While accepting their error, they feel the need to defend themselves which either comes across as “if im going down, im taking you with me!”.

4) Don’t over apologize: “to err, is human”, it is acceptable to make some mistakes . Thus make amends, however, do not over apologize and over compensate for the same.

The Do’s

1) Make your intention clear. Let the individual know, what led you to make that error. Help them understand what you thought you would gain out of this.

2) Recurrence: Make sure you communicate that you will not do it again.

3) Responsibility: Accept the problem created and the emotional disturbance it caused.

4) Express that you understand the consequences and the hurt or discomfort caused because of the error. Let them know you empathize.

Formula:

Expressing regret+ your understanding of the situation+ your promise of zero recurrence.I am sorry that me doing this, hurt you and made you feel unimportant, that was not my intention and will not do such a thing again.

As they say, never ruin an apology with an excuse!

If you would like to talk, feel free to reach out to us. An LifeWorks therapist would be able to help.

Dr.Bassem Badr
Dr.Bassem Badr
Consultant Psychiatrist,Holistic Approach - Arabic and English
Master of Science in Neuropsychiatry - Experience: 25 Years
Ms. Afsheen Sheikh
Ms. Afsheen Sheikh
Board Certified Behaviour Analyst - English
MSc in Applied Behaviour Analysis - Queens University of Belfast,UK - Experience: 5 Years
Dr.Marwa Abd El Hamid
Dr.Marwa Abd El Hamid
Clinical Psychologist - Arabic and English
Ph.D. in Psychology Ain-Shams University - Experience: 10 Years
Iva Vukusic
Iva Vukusic
Clinical Psychologist - English, Croatian and German
Master of Psychology, Training of Trainers (ToT) Community
Jyotika Aggarwal
Jyotika Aggarwal
Clinical Psychologist - English
M.A.(Clinical Psychology), RE-CBT - Experience: 7 Years
Sailaja Menon
Sailaja Menon
Counseling Psychologist - English
CAGS (Multicultural Counseling), Johns Hopkins University, USA - Experience: 25 Years
Sneha John
Sneha John
Psychologist - English, French
Masters in Clinical Psychology from University of London, UK, Bachelor of Psychology with Counselling, UK, Diploma in Child Development, UK.

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